Most of us remember that iconic court scene in Legally Blonde, when Elle Woods has that fire moment in the courtroom, getting Chutney to confess that it was her who was guilty of hurting her father since she had lied all along about getting her perm.
Elle’s face at the moment she realized she had the case in the bag is priceless, and we wondered if these moments happen in real-life courtrooms as well. Well, according to some of these lawyers, they most certainly do.
Watch your words
Sometimes we let things slip by the way we phrase our sentences that it is so important to just watch our words.
This Mom, for example, went to court trying to claim that she was hit by a guy riding his bike, as well as also sue him for giving her a fright when he came out of nowhere cycling away. Well, she maybe could have had him, if only she didn’t give the real story away accidentally.
Cover your tracks
We would have assumed that being a thief requires equally as much of a cunning mind as it requires a person to have guts, but apparently this thief has no idea how to rob a house and get away with it.
He really did not think things through when he thought of breaking in to someone’s home mid-winter in Colorado, leaving behind a pretty clear path in the snow for the cops to find him.
Facebook gave him away
The one thing everyone should know about social media is that once you put something up, it is free for the world to see – and that includes lawyers.
This guy could not get away with his claim that he was injured severely after being involved in a minor car accident after a video of him lifting 300 pounds was discovered on his Facebook account. Sorry, man, maybe check your privacy settings, or perhaps don’t lie in court.
Say what?
From time to time we hear things that people have said in court and we just want to ask them whether they understand what defending yourself means.
Like, do people not get that whatever they say on the stand could swing the jury to believe that they are innocent or guilty with just a few words? People like this guy, who said that he listed the store he was caught shoplifting at as his employee, really make us wonder whether there is hope with humanity.
Just make it add up
There is one hot tip we would like to give people before they begin to tell their lies in a court of law, and that is to make sure the lie actually adds up and makes sense.
For example, we would definitely recommend not to say that you had received a ticket for driving your truck in one location when you were at work an hour and a half away from where the ticket was written.
Fancy footwear
One would think that showing up to court wearing the items that you have stolen would not be the greatest of ideas, but this guy seemed to think otherwise.
He showed up to his case wearing a pair of sneakers that he had stolen, which basically just incriminated him automatically. Perhaps if he had just shown up wearing a different pair of shoes, there is a chance there would have been a slightly different ending to this story.
Show us what you can’t do
When this guy’s grandpa was defending a guy accused of hitting another guy in a car accident, he was told by the plaintiff that as a result of the accident he was now experiencing something called “whupneck.”
Now, this Grandpa lawyer, just like us, had no idea what this “whupneck” thing was so he asked the plaintiff to demonstrate. When the plaintiff began to show the jury what he was unable to do, he pretty much proved the entire thing was a sham.
Walking is now considered traveling
This woman, apparently, took into account the miles that she spent walking around an apartment building delivery mail as travel, listing the distances she would have to take for her job as ‘unreimbursed business expenses.’
We do not know why she thought she would be able to get away with this. After all, no one we know would actually consider walking to be a genuine expense that should be taken into account for tax purposes.
The philosopher
Something we would recommend for people to do in court is to not get overly philosophical on the stand when making a statement and just get straight to the point.
In this case, this guy decided to start questioning his ability to differentiate between dreams and reality. Whilst we are not too sure what he meant by that statement, one thing is clear to us over here as it was clear to the court, and that is that he quite an untrustworthy witness.
The bedridden boarder
Next time you wish to claim to be injured, just be sure that you do not have anything posted on any social media accounts that could possibly be a contradiction.
Like this guy, for example, who thought it would be perfectly fine to post a video of him having a great time in the snow when he was meant to be bed-ridden due to an injury. Needless to say, he lost the case pretty quickly.
Fooled by a Ferrari
This guy over here is quite the prankster. He thought it would be a good idea to slap a Ferrari sticker onto his Toyota. Turns out, it actually works to his advantage.
Whenever he gets a ticket for Ferrari, he just fights these charges in court, saying that it could not possibly be him that was guilty, as he does not drive a Ferrari, and proves his point by whipping out his good ol’ Toyota.
Saved by dentures
We never thought we would ever be the ones to say this sentence, but it turns out dentures have come to the rescue.
When this guy was accused of biting someone, all he had to do was prove that this was, in fact, an impossible feat for him to achieved, as his dentures were upstairs in his room at the time the prosecutor claimed he was nibbling at him. These dentures pulled through in the end.
Nonzero nonsense
We have heard of there being zero people in a room, but we can not say we have ever heard of the word “nonzero.”
There certainly seems to have been a bit of a mixup with this guy and his understanding of how many people were around him at the time of the crime. It is pretty interesting, we must say, that little mixups like this is what unveils the truth. A seemingly small slip of the tongue is not so small in court!
Date more diligently
It seems that if only cops would be a little more diligent and pay a bit more attention to what they are writing down when issuing tickets, then people would not be able to get away with as much as they do.
We do not blame this guy for refusing to pay his fine after it was dated wrongly. For such a silly mistake, we think the cop should have to pay his fine for him.
How about some fact checking?
Here we have a guy who clearly did not check his facts before threatening to sue. After all, if you are going to scam, at least do it properly and get all the correct information.
Like, do not try to scam a Bed and Breakfast and threaten to take them to court for giving you food poisoning whilst they were clearly closed for the season. Mistakes like this just make people look like the true fools they are.
Caught by a monogram
We all love personalized gear, but we never thought it would be personalized gear that would help us bust a home robbery.
This guy probably did not think so either, when he got a shirt emblazoned with his surname on it. Luckily for him, however, this thief decided it was quite a cool tee and snatched it whilst in the midsts of his robbery. He was then videoed trying to pawn off his stolen goods, wearing this T-shirt.
Taking it all
When a marriage turns sour, the splitting and sharing of assets becomes one of the messiest parts of the whole divorce process. This couple had clearly been playing mind games since the beginning, and it all came to a head after the husband played the uno reverse card on his ex-wife.
The husband’s lawyers were much better than the wife’s—and they’d managed to create a deal where he still had ownership of everything after all, since she had messed up by trying to take everything.
Dog Days Are Over
Going through any court case is not easy but when animals are involved, it’s all the more complicated. They can’t exactly testify, can they? This couple almost had their pooch taken away thanks to a neighbor’s personal vendetta.
Luckily, what the wife spotted was the neighbor’s son in the corner, who looked like he was tampering with a cable. They pinned it all on the kid and the dog was free to go.
Family Matters
This family didn’t have any trouble making it clear that they only had one goal in mind—grandma’s money.
It seems like the lawyer was the only one on grandma’s side anyway, so it was lucky that the family were massively underprepared for their case, and the lawyer called them out for it. No one is stealing an old woman’s money
In the Clear
This bereaved husband thought he was about to get sentenced for a crime he never even committed, but his lawyer was the best in the business for a reason. At first, the innocent husband was confused, until the lawyer gave him a crucial piece of evidence that the husband wasn’t sure they’d be able to get.
It was footage from a neighbor’s doorbell camera, on the street where the accident took place, proving that the husband was nowhere to be seen at the time.
Last Minute Turnaround
Evidence is one of the most important things in any court case. Without it, it’s all just a case of “he said, she said”, and that’s never good news in the eyes of the law.
This crucial video came completely out of left field, being added to the evidence packet right at the last moment, and with concrete proof, there was no way anyone would ever be able to tell another story.
Self Exposure
Lawyers have trained for years to spot signs in the people they question in court. But sometimes, they don’t even have to spot signs when the person trying to defend themselves slips up and makes an admission that changes everything.
This defendant mentioned a store closet—a detail that was never specified to him in court. He could sound as innocent as he wanted, but this was concrete proof.
Riding the Alimony Pony
This family lawyer was surprised when an angry client burst into his office, demanding that his alimony payments to his ex-wife be stopped. The lawyer was confused when he learned that the woman hadn’t moved in with a new partner.
However, he understood everything when the client revealed the shocking truth that his wife had abandoned their three children and run off with a millionaire. He had no hesitations in stopping the alimony payments right away.
You Played Yourself
Divorce is a tricky situation for everyone involved. After drafting this horrible divorce contract, the wife came in to calmly sign the papers only to find her husband begging on his knees to take him back after admitting that he only wanted to remind her who the money belonged to.
We’ve never heard of something more humiliating than this man exposing his immature ways and having to come crawling back to his spouse. Please, save your toxic behaviors with your wife for your personal life—don’t call in a divorce lawyer to be the messenger in this very messy exchange.
That’s not how it works
This story definitely has us laughing quite a bit. When this guy was given a ticket for some misdemeanor in a truck, he defended himself by saying that he has never even ridden a truck.
The judge realized there had been a typo and told him to go down to the offices and get it fixed, but unfortunately for the court, that’s not the way it works. He got out of it completely scot free.
Read the ink
This lawyer could not be fooled when this guy tried to pull the ‘I can’t read English’ card when being trialed in court. With some quick thinking, the lawyer asked him to proceed to read out to the jury the tattoos he had on his arm.
Obviously, he succeeded in doing so which just proved that his entire defense was as untrustworthy as he was. That is one pretty smart lawyer, we have to say.
Aha, so he has met her
We have all heard the “looks better in person” line, but it certainly should not be used in court if you are trying to defend yourself by asserting that you have never met the person in the photograph.
This was not something considered, however, by this guy who was apparently put on trial for some horrible crime. Luckily he was caught in the web of his lies, and was thanks to his own slip up, was punished accordingly.
The defender of the smartphones
Okay, with this one we kind of have to say the prosecutor did have a point. After all, is it not the most frustrating thing in the 21st century when we encounter such technologically inept people?
We are actually sick and tired of people having smartphones and not being able to use them. But then again, it is certainly not appropriate to be yelling out all your anger and frustrations to the witness on the stand.
Mystery messages
This woman needs to either stop lying on the stand, or perhaps check who she is giving her phone to that is sending such incriminating messages from her device.
We must say, we do think she probably is guilty of the former, and unfortunately for her, apparently the jury felt the same way. Turns out, as a general rule of thumb, if messages were sent from your phone, it was probably you sending the message.
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