The Most Hilarious Trashy Texts That Will Make You Laugh

Everybody was happy to evacuate to nahh look at ya sad with no house.

The phrase "Ay, I hope my ex-husband gets deployed" suggests that the speaker wishes for their ex-husband to be sent away on military deployment, possibly as a means of getting rid of them or creating distance. It implies a desire for separation or removal from their life.

This why ain't never No Chicken when i go to walmart because Ling Ling Ass with her Lemon Peppa Whing Swhimp Fried rice egg roll ok ready in ten minute head ass bought it all.

A friend has discovered that their mutual friend's girlfriend is being unfaithful to him and also to the speaker. It implies a shared sense of betrayal and deception among the friends, as they both are affected by the girlfriend's infidelity.

It feels uncomfortable or insecure about their current style of dressing, which they describe as resembling that of a "street walker" or someone who dresses provocatively. The speaker expresses a hope that they will eventually change their style, but they hope this change will come naturally with age rather than as a result of a traumatic event. Essentially, they prefer to grow out of their current fashion choices rather than have them forcibly altered by a negative experience.

The statement questions the rationale behind hiring a teacher who does not speak English. It implies surprise or disbelief that such a decision would be made, given that English proficiency would typically be considered a fundamental requirement for a teaching position. He is expressing confusion or concern about this hiring decision.

A man's got a tattoo of a kid's face on his cheek! Looks like he's really committed to babysitting duty, or maybe he just wanted to add a little extra 'kid' to his cheeky personality. Either way, it's definitely a head-turner!"

It's likely intended as humor or bravado, perhaps poking fun at the idea of flaunting wealth or inviting trouble, but it's important to note that such statements should not be taken seriously as they could potentially incite dangerous situations.

It suggests a belief that a developing fetus should be recognized as a human life, and the experience of pregnancy loss might lead the couple to reevaluate their stance on abortion, potentially viewing it as the termination of a life rather than a mere medical procedure.

Can you believe it? Here we are, fighting off COVID-19 like superheroes, and this nurse thinks it's no big deal! I mean, seriously? It's like trying to explain rocket science to a chicken. They're going around, saying, "Oh, it's just like the flu, no biggie." Yeah, right! It's like comparing a kitten to a lion. I'm over here wearing a mask that feels like a facehugger from a sci-fi movie, and they're acting like it's a walk in the park! It's enough to make me want to bang my head against a wall... but then I remember, that's not socially distanced. Talk about living in a COVID comedy!

You know, no matter what's going on, Mom's prayers are like having a secret weapon in your back pocket. It's like she's got a direct line to the universe, and she's not afraid to use it! You could be facing a mountain of laundry or a literal mountain blocking the driveway, and Mom's like, "No worries, I got this!" It's like having a superhero on speed dial, except she's in her pajamas and holding a cup of tea. You can't help but feel like everything's gonna be okay when Mom's on the prayer hotline. It's like having your own personal guardian angel with an unlimited data plan!

Wait, hold up! Are you seriously asking if using heroin for a month could help you lose weight? That's like asking if jumping into a volcano will give you a tan – it's just not the smartest idea! Sure, you might drop a few pounds, but at what cost? You'll probably end up losing a lot more than just weight – like your teeth, your job, and maybe even your freedom! Plus, do you really want to be known as the person who lost weight by getting hooked on heroin? Trust me, there are way better ways to shed those extra pounds, like eating more veggies or hitting the gym. Let's stick to the treadmill instead of the needle, okay?

Alright, buckle up for this one! So, imagine there's a sign that says, "moms get free cream pie." Now, on one hand, you might think, "Hey, that's sweet! Moms deserve a treat!" But on the other hand, you could also be like, "Um, is this some kind of weird bakery special?" It's like a guessing game where you're not quite sure if you're talking about dessert or something... else. Let's just hope it's all about pies and not, well, you know, the other thing. Either way, it's definitely a phrase that's gonna make you do a double-take!

Okay, get this: imagine someone saying they're "making a flour line with a dollar note." Now, on one hand, you might think, "Oh, they're just getting ready to bake some cookies, right?" But then, on the other hand, you could also be like, "Wait a minute... are they trying to cook up something else?" It's like trying to guess if you're about to have a baking party or a totally different kind of party! Let's just hope it's all about cookies and not, you know, the other stuff. Either way, it's definitely a phrase that'll leave you scratching your head!

Alright, check this out: imagine someone hops on their motorcycle after a few too many drinks, thinking they're a total biker champ. They somehow manage to make it home in one piece, feeling like a rockstar. But then, when they try to heat up some late-night snacks in the microwave, they're like, "Wait... how does this thing work again?" It's like they went from Easy Rider to Easy Bake Oven! Talk about a reality check! Moral of the story: drinking and driving is no joke, folks! It's better to play it safe and stick to cooking when you're not seeing double.

Alright, picture this hilarious scene: so, the boyfriend's like, "Hey, babe, wanna see my new tattoo?" And you're thinking, "Cool, he must have gotten something meaningful or super artistic, right?" But then he lifts his sleeve, and there it is – a big ol' tattoo that says "I Heart Cocaine"! You're like, "Um, what?!" Turns out, he traded his stash of drugs for that masterpiece. Talk about making impulsive decisions! Now he's stuck with that tattoo forever, like a walking billboard for bad choices. I guess you could say he's really committed to his... hobbies? It's a comedy of errors, but hey, at least it's a conversation starter!

This scenario suggests a series of unfortunate events, including a false pregnancy scare, falling prey to an online scam, and possibly needing to sell belongings as a consequence. It highlights the importance of caution when engaging with online platforms and the potential consequences of trusting unreliable sources.

The situation describes a situation where someone misses their girlfriend so intensely that they feel overwhelmed or driven to an extreme action. In this case, they cut their girlfriend's hair and keep some of it as a memento, suggesting a desire to keep a tangible reminder of her presence even when she is not physically there.

It expresses a desire to find restaurants in Venice and Florence, Italy, that serve Italian food similar to that of Olive Garden, a chain restaurant known for its casual Italian-American cuisine. The speaker specifically mentions wanting simple dishes like spaghetti without any overly fancy or gourmet elements.

Alright, get ready for some hilarious banter between the USA and the UK! So, picture this: an American and a Brit are arguing about their countries' iconic landmarks. The American's like, "Hey, we've got the Statue of Liberty – a symbol of freedom and democracy!" And then the Brit's like, "Yeah, but we've got the Eiffel Tower!" Wait, hold up... the Eiffel Tower? That's in France, not Britain! Talk about a mix-up! But hey, let's roll with it. The American's like, "Pfft, the Eiffel Tower? That's nothing compared to Lady Liberty! She's like the Beyoncé of landmarks – fierce and fabulous!" And the Brit's like, "Well, at least our tower doesn't turn green!" Ooh, burn! It's all in good fun, folks – just some friendly rivalry between nations!