We all know what it’s like—most of us have gone through a breakup at some point in our lives. It’s never easy nursing a broken heart or finding yourself suddenly without someone you thought might be the love of your life.
But even harsher than being broken up with in person, is finding out that you’ve been dumped via a text or random note.
Take a look at these hilariously savage breakup notes, and feel better about your own love life.
We shouldn’t laugh at these, but some of these super-harsh breakup texts are so wild that you can’t help it.
Bitter Sweet
Now, we think this one can go two ways. Either someone’s significant other broke up with them and let them know the news by sending them this, admittedly delicious-looking but cruel cake.
Or, perhaps someone had already been dumped, and their friends attempted to cheer them up with this cake and assure them it was actually all for the best.
Either way, what better way to get over a heartbreak with a good generous helping of delicious chocolate cake. Win-win!
Break a Wish
Wow, these are just getting meaner and meaner! This feels like the sender of this text really went out of their way to be as hurtful as possible when breaking up with their significant other.
If you really want to break up with someone, just do it. Don’t encourage them to share their own feelings and hopes for the relationship—especially if you think you might know what they are—if you are only planning to dash them cruelly.
Have some humanity, people!
Say No to No
Well, we can’t help but admire this girlfriend’s confidence in her and her boyfriend’s relationship. Despite his insistence that he wants to break up with her—in fact, IS breaking up with her—she won’t hear a word of it. Hilariously, the boyfriend keeps trying with increasing urgency to get the message across, and she just refuses to accept it. Well that’s one way to hold on to your man!
We can’t imagine that an enforced lifelong commitment would be too full of love, though. Perhaps she’s hoping he’ll just forget about wanting to break up with her.
Plot Twist
Goodness me! We think the writer of this (impossibly neat) note maybe took it too far with the whole idea of “it’s not you, it’s me”.
We know it’s kind to try and soften the blow a bit when breaking up with someone, but really “you are great but…” is just about as far as you should go with the pre-dumping compliments.
This one tries to be kind but ends up falling flat on its face—poor Erin! Just as she relaxes into this super complimentary love letter, she gets dumped out of nowhere. Not one to frame.
Motorcross Madness
Oh yes. Ladies, when your man does the dirty on you, sometimes it’s pretty clear there’s only one thing left to do if you want the truest, sweetest revenge.
That’s right … hit ‘em where it hurts. Go for their most sensitive and carefully guarded of all their treasures … their car.
This genius ex-girlfriend has killed two birds with one stone—not only has she made it pretty public about exactly how her ex has wronged her, but she’s also trashed his prized possession.
Pretty genius revenging there … but we wouldn’t want to be around when the owner of the car discovers this deed.
Coffee Mate
Goodness! This one really made us laugh. We are not sure if it’s really a break-up note, or just a note of random horribleness, but it was certainly an unexpected ending.
That’s the best way to go if you really want to insult someone—start out the note in a cutesy, loving turn, almost poetic in its happiness and positivity, and then BAM! Hit them with your unexpected harshness.
We wonder if the recipient of this note managed a laugh through their tears—it is pretty funny, after all.
Multiple Choice
Well, this relationship certainly wasn’t ticking all the right boxes. Get it?!
We feel pretty sorry for the recipient of this note. Sure, it’s always nice to be given a choice in life’s big moments, but we don’t think the mode of breakup is really what the person wanted to have a say in.
Although if you think about it, if one person wants to break up and the other doesn’t, the first choice kind of overrides the second. Game over for this one!
In the Doghouse
Lol! This one really made us laugh. Though the first post-it in this series of damning statements is a little more matter-of-fact, and could suggest that the writer really does want the best for his ex-partner, the second one is just so unabashedly harsh.
It sort of looks to us like Mark tried his hardest to say something as nice and honest as possible, but then at the last minute, couldn’t resist adding a second sassier memo.
We can live with losing a boyfriend, but the dog? That’s something you never get over.
Sobering Sight
Not everyone loves the sight looking back at them when they stare blearily eyed into the mirror first thing in the morning. But we can imagine whoever finds themselves in the reflection of this particular mirror is going to have a rather nasty surprise!
What we find particularly odd is that we can’t see the photographer in the reflection at all. Who took this photo? A ghost?
Maybe it’s the ghost of relationships past. Either way, at least they said sorry.
Alexa, Break Up With Me
There are a lot of strange symbols and possible esoteric emojis going on here. Just what are those strange scrawls, and the random explosion of commas at the top?
We know that’s not the point, but it does convey perfectly the erratic nature of this poignant not ending the relationship of what we can only assume is a couple of a not very advanced age.
What we love especially about this is that the writer is only “probably” breaking up with her—just to keep hope alive.
Oh, young love…
The Fun is Done
Well, you can’t argue with this one. If someone accuses you of mistreating, cheating, or dodgy message deleting, you can fight back until the cows come home, protesting your innocence and persuading them to give you another chance.
But if they simply state the situation—that they’re just not having fun—then what can you do?
Fair play to the writer of this one, we say. They know what they want and they’re not afraid to say when they are not getting it.
Mixed Messages
Ouch! This is always a terrible way to announce anything major. First, to do it in a text message in the first place is a pretty bad idea—for both of the people in this scenario. But to say something that huge when you have no idea what the other person is about to say, too? It’s rarely going to end well…
To be fair, if two people are in such wildly different places about where they think the relationship is going, they probably aren’t that suited to each other. Which relationship are YOU looking at?
Not Adding Up
It looks like things are really not adding up great for the couple in this next photo. Sure, it’s pretty harsh to break up with someone via text, but by George we can feel the vibes of exasperation in this screenshot.
We don’t know who Ron is, but this is clearly not the first time he’s annoyed his girlfriend with his behavior or perhaps slightly dim thoughts.
We love ya, Ron, but looks like it’s back to square one for you here.
Crowd Pleaser
You know, it’s always great to see children reading. As well as making connections with others, listening in school, and so on.
But when all of those dreams for your little one collide in one unexpected moment, you probably wouldn’t expect it to result in such a dramatic and hilarious breakup note.
We have to commend the writer of this note for taking things so seriously in class, and not wanting their mini-beau to distract them with their jokes. If they even are jokes …
Looks like this class clown isn’t laughing his way into anyone’s hearts.
Honesty is the Best Policy
We kind of love this one for its honesty. Go you, Rachel, for knowing that you deserve better!
It’s such a hilarious reminder of elementary school relationships and breakups, where you really can go months without talking to your boyfriend after agreeing to go out with each other.
Looking at some of the other notes on this list, we think this could have been the way to go for some other relationships.
Either way, we salute Rachel for already knowing what she wants in life.
Not Your Average Bumper Sticker
Well, this certainly is more interesting than a simple “clean me”.
Shocking grammar aside, this message really has so much to be admired within it.
Is it wife Nikki’s resourcefulness in writing this damning message on the car, or all the practical measures she has gone to beforehand in giving her cheating husband his just desserts?
We also enjoy that she is so angry that her diatribe leaves no room to include the actual kids’ names, just include them as a mass unit. We feel ya, Nikki.
It Ain’t Over Till It’s Octagon
Oh dear oh dear. There is a time and a place for hilarious autocorrect fails, and certainly the dose of unexpected humor can lighten the mood of any exchange, but really, we don’t think the recipient of these breakup texts is really laughing too much.
Reading between the lines though, it looks like this person has already blown it a couple of times with their beau, and this is just one time too many.
However you spell it, it looks like the magic is well and truly gone from this relationship.
Public Service Announcement
Now, this must have been a terrible thing for this woman to go through, but you’ve got to admit that this sign is pretty lol.
Rather than contact each of her neighbors individually, this wronged wife decided to make a quick announcement and then get away sharpish.
Probably she wasn’t such good friends with the neighbors that any of them would have expected a private message.
We can’t help but wonder, was it one of the neighbors who did the dirty with this disgraced husband? We will never know!
Wise Words
Hey, you know what they say. Waste not want not! This guy was obviously so inspired by the breakup speech in Batman, that they decided to be economical and use it again, this time applying it to their own breakup situation.
And there’s no denying it’s a pretty emotive and beautiful speech—there’s just one problem.
The receiver of the text knew exactly where these choice words from—kind of undermining the deep nature of the message.
For all we know, they saw this movie together on date night!
Straight to the Point
We love this one for simply just how blunt it is. It’s not really cruel, it doesn’t publicly humiliate Dan, or go into any details about why they split—just gives out the cold hard facts of the situation.
But it’s the “sorry to do this on Valentine’s Day” that really gets us. Are you really sorry, Laura? Really?
Based on the fact that this is probably the least emotive break up note ever, we can’t imagine matter-of-fact Laura being too cut up about Dan’s feelings here.
The Final Frontier
We are not sure if this is exactly a breakup text, but it certainly looks like the relationship of these two texters is going that way.
I mean, on the one hand it’s kind of cute and considerate that the receiver of this text is responding in kind of an understanding way, and maybe trying to cheer their girlfriend up?
On the other hand, if she really does want space, sending her random jokey images probably isn’t the best way to do that.
We think that these two are going to be far far away from each other pretty soon.
Delivery Fail
Oh my! This certainly isn’t the response you want from your significant other when telling them that you might both be about to be parents. We really hope that this one is a joke, but even if it is, it’s not that funny…
Despite that, we can’t help but admire this guy’s perseverance at the pretense, even when he’s most obviously been caught out.
After all, being quite bad at cringey jokes is one of the main criteria for becoming a dad!
Knowing the Signs
This text is the true king of unintentional comedy. It’s always fun to see these mini dramas playing out among elementary school kids, preparing them for the true hardship of breakups once they get older.
That being said, at the time these relationships can feel very real, and what’s realer as a sign of true love than buying another person a Starbucks.
We think both parties can move forward from this relationship knowing that they shared something special.
Damaged Goods
Ouch! Here we see another jilted spouse airing their heartache in public. We know it can be terribly painful to discover that your wife has been cheating on you, but public declarations of anger and bitterness such as this can only end badly.
Unless you make a mint selling all her old belongings, we guess!
Who else is intrigued what this guy is selling in this vengeful yard sale? We bet the collection of objects would tell a great, if doomed, story.
Bye Bye Baby
Oh dear! This one got pretty awkward pretty quickly,
We are not particularly sure why this texter would think it was funny or kind to break up with his girlfriend in such a callous or harsh way, but he clearly chose to drop it in a random text rather than sitting down to talk it out face-to-face.
But, it looks like the girlfriend had her own pretty big bombshell to drop!
A new baby is usually happy news—if your baby daddy didn’t just try and dump you moments earlier, that is.
Mix Tape
What a strange and confusing message. First, the obvious point is that it’s made out of song titles on a Spotify playlist, which makes it already cryptic for the recipient of this list to know if it’s really an intentional message at all.
Secondly, is it a break up message, or some sort of bizarre request to cheat on someone with them? Perhaps we are missing the first song on the list, perhaps “Dontcha” by the Pussycat Dolls.
Either way, this is one mix tape we don’t want to receive from our girlfriend or boyfriend.
Message Mishap
Oh dear oh dear! We think the husband in these texts is definitely in for a spot of bother. What possible good explanation could there be for a break-up text to someone other than your wife?
Perhaps he could say he was advising his friend on what to say when breaking up with someone?
We are not sure that this guy’s wife is going to buy such a flimsy excuse, but let’s hope he manages to sort it out—otherwise he’s going to be left without a wife OR a girlfriend!
By the Way
Ouch! This one is mega harsh. We are not sure if this texter did it deliberately just to be cruel—to text their beau in the most unexpected and sudden way possible that they were breaking up with them, or perhaps they were just too cowardly and needed to find a random excuse to bring it up.
To be fair, this might not be a breakup text, but perhaps just looking to expand their relationship?
But we think if this is how you bring up issues with your loved one, you probably don’t have the strongest bond to begin with.
Love Letter
Oh, Delandren. The pen is mightier than the sword. Can you just imagine being Krystal, receiving this hand-written note from her beau on such a special day, their one-month anniversary?
She might have been totally unaware that anything was wrong, opening this note up expecting a declaration of love and possibly a dinner invite.
Sometimes people try and break it off gently, but it ends up being even harsher than they first imagined.
At least he acknowledges that it was hard to do this. Writing hastily scrawled break-up messages IS a big challenge, to be sure.
