How to Write the Most Hilarious Breakup Messages


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Breakups, while tough, can sometimes take the unexpected route of being comedic. Here are some memorable breakup texts that toe the line between ruthless and downright hilarious!

 Well Done, Dave

It’s a tough situation for Dave, no doubt. Loyalty is essential in any relationship, and the repercussions of this might be hard. Hopefully, this can serve as a reminder of the importance of honesty and commitment in any relationship, helping others navigate their own paths with greater mindfulness.

In a move she deemed fair, his wife emptied the bank account, leaving him with nothing. Dave’s infidelity cost him dearly. Learn from his mistake and prioritize loyalty in your relationships.

 Apparently It’s Not Mutual

Isn’t it delightful when your partner sends adorable texts? Sometimes, though, the attempt to build anticipation by saying something simultaneously can lead to unexpected, albeit amusing, outcomes.

Talk about a plot twist! It’s wild how quickly things can change—from planning a future together to suddenly going separate ways. It just goes to show how unpredictable life and relationships can be.

What A Message

Paul might be in for a rough time ahead. His partner opted for a very public setting to drop the bombshell of wanting a divorce. Whatever led to this moment, it’s clear that emotions are running high and things are about to get complicated.

Luckily, she retained custody of the dog. Let’s hope another Paul doesn’t misconstrue this information.

 A Yard Sale We All Want To Be In

Garage sales typically involve letting go of items you’ve held onto for too long. It’s rare to see one specifically for getting rid of belongings left behind by ex-partners.

This method certainly ensures everyone’s aware of your spouse’s infidelity and the impending divorce.

 At Any Rate They Were Still Courteous

Well, if you’re a pizza enthusiast, this breakup might not seem too terrible—you’ve got a whole pie to devour. Then again, being newly single might not make that pizza as appetizing as it once was.

There’s a hint of kindness in buying the ex a pizza for the breakup, but it’s undeniably brutal when you consider that the pizza delivery person had to inscribe the message, being fully aware of what was about to unfold. It’s a whole new level of savage!

 Well Played

Every relationship resembles a winding road. Along the journey, there are plenty of unexpected twists and turns. Some are fortunate to relish the ride on a smooth, serene path with minimal traffic and calm surroundings.

In every journey, there’s a destination, and unfortunately, many relationships head towards a place called “heartbreak.” Here’s an example of a driver who noticed the warning signs a tad too late in their journey.

Not The Best Joke

Among the plethora of terrible jokes out there, this one stands out as both the worst and strangely the best. Using humor as a way to soften the blow is definitely a unique approach to letting someone down gently.

It’s unclear which is more unsettling: turning their breakup into a joke or assuming it would soften the blow of ending things gently.

 Now Let’s Play A Game

Seems like this guy was up to something shady, chatting with a girl named Kelsi on Facebook. Now, it looks like he’s left to pick up the shattered pieces of his life.

Let’s hope he kept track of the important relationship milestones because it seems he’ll need them to retrieve his belongings. Fortunately, his ex-girlfriend didn’t opt for the route of destroying all his stuff, as some others might have done.

Careful What You Wish For

Have you ever made a wish at 11:11? This one person wished to stay together forever, while her boyfriend wished for a swift breakup. Quite the opposite desires, right?

Hopefully, in the future, they’ll have the chance to make wishes again, and this time, receive much kinder and more aligned responses.

Not Funny At All

It’s true, making people laugh can be quite a challenge. Understanding your audience and their humor preferences is key. Unfortunately, this person’s attempt to amuse their crush ended up backfiring in a major way.

It’s a double blow—they not only faced a breakup but also realized they were inadvertently making themselves appear foolish. Tough situation to be in, for sure.

The Main Point

When you decide to part ways with someone, it’s crucial to be certain it’s what you truly want and that you won’t reconsider or go back on your decision.

Clearly, this person resorted to mind games by asserting, “you’ll never find someone like me,” which contradicts the very essence of breaking up to seek better connections.

Thoughtful Enough To Leave A Cake

In the aftermath of a bitter breakup, it often results in both individuals still residing in the same neighborhood. Consequently, one of them typically decides to pack up and move elsewhere within the town.

Yet, there are instances where breakups prompt individuals to relocate to a different city or even another country. In this scenario, one person moved to the opposite side of the globe to distance themselves from their ex, as illustrated here.

 Math Is Important

Not everyone excels in every subject. This individual might not shine in math and English, but that shouldn’t hinder their capacity to love someone.

While the reason remains unclear, it’s evident that their lack of math skills isn’t the cause for the situation at hand.

 What A Denial

It appears this person is deeply enamored to the point of being oblivious to what’s happening, or denial has clouded their natural instincts. However, once reality sets in, she’s in for a harsh awakening.

Her boyfriend is attempting to convey that their relationship has ended, but she’s not allowing the message to fully register.

A Creative Breakup

This situation serves as a reminder that trying to deceive your partner doesn’t often end well. This girl experienced a heavy blow in the form of a significant breakup.

It’s astonishing how sneaky she was—nobody deserves to be deceived to such an extent. On the upside, at least she’s relieved from carrying that burden of guilt anymore.

When You Have To Explain More Than Once

It’s puzzling how many times someone needs to signal that it’s time to break up before the message sinks in. While having feelings for someone is understandable, it’s crucial not to be so blinded that you miss the unmistakable signs.

In fairness, these messages resembled more of a quiz than a straightforward breakup text. Perhaps they should have opted for a more direct approach instead.

Take Care Of Business, Shawn

Do you recall those early days when you had your first boyfriend in kindergarten or first grade? This little girl learned early on the importance of communication in relationships.

Shawn hasn’t spoken to her since the day he asked her out. He went three months without communicating with his “girlfriend.” What sort of relationship is that supposed to be?

 Telling The World

Picture scrolling through Instagram only to discover you’ve been broken up with via a mysterious social media post—no call, no text. That’s quite the unexpected way to find out.

It’s puzzling why she was broken up with through Instagram. Hopefully, they had the opportunity to have a private conversation instead of handling it on social media.

 One Stone, Two Birds

This kindergartner attempted to address two issues with one note. In trying to both break up with his girlfriend and wish her a happy one-month anniversary, he managed a unique combination of sentiments.

Towards the bottom, he penned, “It’s very hard to do this.” At least there was a hint of remorse or sadness about their breakup.

 Spelling Is Everything

When this person got worried that their girlfriend might be pregnant, they attempted a clever tactic by sending a text claiming their phone was out of service. It might have worked if they had spell-checked their message beforehand.

Even after his girlfriend pointed out the spelling mistake, he attempted the same trick again. Hopefully, she flipped the script and ended things with him instead.

A Picture That Says A lot

This person struggled with writing their breakup letter, but at least they acknowledged their difficulty in properly expressing their feelings.

Naturally, he opted to depict himself riding a giraffe as a way to convey his message of breaking up. That surely makes everything crystal clear, right?

 Cruel

It’s puzzling why some choose to publicly end their relationships, yet it’s more common than expected. Not only did she break up with him on Valentine’s Day, but she also denied him the chance to say goodbye.

While she was kind enough to take his belongings to his parent’s house, it’s still disheartening to have the breakup occur in a public setting.

That’s A Nice Way To Put It

While many people aim for gentleness in breakups, this little boy took a starkly different approach. He made it clear he wants nothing to do with his girlfriend, going as far as drawing a graphic image of her demise.

It’s concerning if Valerie had to witness this, as it’s rather graphic for someone so young. Hopefully, Valerie finds someone who treats her far better.

 Sweet And To The Point

It’s quite a cliffhanger; it would be intriguing to know what happened next. The brevity of a three-sentence breakup note raises questions about the duration of their relationship and how things unfolded thereafter.

It’s unclear how Alexander responded or what his friends thought about it. She chose brevity to ensure he got the message loud and clear. His reaction and the opinions of those around him remain a mystery.

 Ahh, New Movie

It’s true, some people can be quite harsh. Instead of being direct, they resort to playing guessing games to end their relationships with their significant others.

It’s puzzling why the person didn’t just say they wanted to see other people rather than using the guise of wanting to watch a movie. Clear communication could have spared confusion and hurt feelings.

 Right Back At YOU

What a truly awkward situation! The guy attempted to use magic to end things with his girlfriend, unaware that she is carrying his child. That adds an unexpected layer of complexity to the situation.

Despite the talk of magic, there’s nothing enchanting or magical about these messages.


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