Hilarious Police Jokes That Will Arrest Your Heart From Laughing


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Hilarious Police Jokes That Will Arrest Your Heart From Laughing

Do you remember the movie Police Academy? If you do, you know what kind of jokes to expect! If not, don't worry, we'll tell you all about it. Just keep reading!

Let's get started with our police officer jokes! Just scroll down to check them out. After you've read them, pick your favorite ones! And if you enjoyed them, you can share this article with your friends.

  1. 1

    leo writes
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    My wife put on a sexy officer outfit and arrested me on suspicion of being good in bed. After a short trial, I was found not guilty.

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  3. 2

    leo writes
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    Police Officer: "I'm arresting you for illegally downloading the entire Wikipedia."

    Man: "Wait I can explain everything."

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  5. 3

    leo writes
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    What does a police officer and a DJ have in common?

    They both tell drunk people to put their hands up.

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  7. 4

    leo writes
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    A drunk wakes up in jail, "Why am I here officer?"

    "For drinking." replies the officer.

    "Great" says the man. "When do we start?"

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  9. 5

    leo writes
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     Why did the police officer smell so bad?

    He was on duty.

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  11. 6

    leo writes
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    Did you hear the celery got arrested?

    They charged him with stalking.

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  13. 7

    leo writes
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    Officer: “Why did you park here?”

    Me: “The sign says, ‘Fine for parking.'”

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  15. 8

    leo writes
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    Police Officer: "You're driving on the wrong side of the road."


    Driver: "Sorry, I'm English."

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    Police officer: (shouting) "Oii! It's the rong soid of the roade ye was droivin down, innit?"


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  17. 9

    leo writes
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    Why did they arrest the cap?

    It was covering for the marker.

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  19. 10

    leo writes
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    What does a frog use to keep away burglars?

    A lily padlock.

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  21. 11

    leo writes
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     I asked a rookie what he would do if he had to arrest his mother.

    He said, “I’d call for backup!”

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  23. 12

    leo writes
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    Police officer: "So I'm writing you a ticket for driving alone in the car pool lane."

    Me: "You're going to feel really stupid when you look in my trunk."

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  25. 13

    leo writes
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    "Police are usually shocked that I have a record. But I love their greatest hits!"


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  27. 14

    leo writes
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    There’s a man in the town who’s stealing the wheels of police cars. The police are working tirelessly to catch him.


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  29. 15

    leo writes
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     Did you hear about the criminal who stole a lamp?

    He got a very light sentence.

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  31. 16

    leo writes
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    Why did the police officer arrest the skeleton?

    They could see the joint in his hand.


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  33. 17

    leo writes
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    Why did the officer give the ghost a ticket?

    It didn’t have a haunting license.

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  35. 18

    leo writes
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    "Your eyes look red." said the police officer. "Have you been smoking weed?"

    "Your eyes look glazed." I replied. "Have you been eating donuts?"

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  37. 19

    leo writes
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    Why are policemen such great volleyball players?

    They know how to serve and protect.

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  39. 20

    leo writes
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    Why did the NYPD show up at the Mets game?

    They heard someone was stealing bases.

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  41. 21

    leo writes
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    What's the difference between a computer and a police officer?

    One has troubleshooting.

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  43. 22

    leo writes
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    One fire truck and 20 cops show up to a call. What happened?

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    Dunkin Donuts burnt down.

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  45. 23

    leo writes
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    Officer: “Why did you park here?”

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    Me: “The sign says, 'Fine for parking.'”


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  47. 24

    leo writes
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    Why did the coffee call 911?

    It was mugged.

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  49. 25

    leo writes
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    Why did the sheriff lock up her boyfriend?

    He stole her heart.

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  51. 26

    leo writes
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    What are the four food groups for cops?

    Jelly, powdered, glazed, and chocolate frosted.

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  53. 27

    leo writes
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    Did you hear they arrested the Energizer bunny?

    He was charged with battery.

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  55. 28

    leo writes
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    A man in an interrogation room says I'm not saying a word without my lawyer present.

    Police: "You are the lawyer."

    Lawyer: "Exactly, so where's my present?"

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  57. 29

    leo writes
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     What happens when a police officer goes to bed?

    He becomes an undercover cop.

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  59. 30

    leo writes
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    Police officer 1: "This murder seems racially motivated."

    Police officer 2: "Hate crime?"

    Police officer 1: "Of course I hate crime. That's why I'm a officer."

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