"Vampires are spooky creatures who come out at night. People have been interested in them for a very long time. Sometimes, they're shown as romantic, sometimes scary, and sometimes in between. They've become a big part of our stories and movies. If you like spooky stuff or just want a good laugh, we've got some funny vampire jokes for you!"
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How does Dracula get his torch to turn on?
With bat-teries. -
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What should you never yell at a vampire while arguing?
"Bite me!" -
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Why don’t vampires like mosquitos?
Too much competition. -
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Why don’t mosquitoes bite vampires?
As a professional courtesy. -
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What would you get when you cross a vampire with sheep?
Drac-Ewe-La.
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What did the vampire say after drinking blood from a bodybuilder?
"Whew, that’s strong!" -
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Why did Dracula divorce his wife after she took a blood test?
She wasn't his type.
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What do you call a gullible vampire?
A sucker. -
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What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A nectarine. -
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What do you call a cross dressing vampire?
Dragula. -
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Did you know people still think there are vampires in Romania?
Haven’t seen one since 1645. -
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Where do college-age vampires shop?
Forever 21. -
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Why can you never win in a boxing match with Dracula?
Nobody can ever beat the Count.
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Why are vampires so obsessed with necks?
Because they were raised by a neck romancer. -
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Why should you never tell a vampire to get a life?
Because it might decide to take yours. -
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How can you tell if a vampire is sick?
If he’s coffin. -
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Why are vampires bad artists?
Because they always want to draw blood. -
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Heard about the vampire who was locked up in an asylum?
He went batty. -
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Why are vampires very bad Product Managers?
Because they refuse to meet with stake holders. -
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Why do vampires like to scare people?
Because they are bored to death! -
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What is a vampire’s favorite fast food?
A person with very high blood pressure. -
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How do you kill a French vampire?
You have to stab him/her with a baguette. It sounds easy, but the process is painstaking. -
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Where does Dracula buy writing utensils from?
Pencil-veinia. -
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Why don’t vampires like gambling?
They get nervous when the stakes are raised. -
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Why does Dracula not have friends?
He's such a pain in the neck.
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What do vampires drink at happy hour?
B-Positive. -
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Why did Dracula fail at Art?
He was only able to draw blood.
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Why are vampires so naive?
Because they are born suckers. -
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What's the differnce between Jesus and a vampire?
Where you stick the wooden stake. -
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What would you get when you cross a vampire with sheep?
Drac-Ewe-La. -
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Why do vampires brush three times a day?
To prevent bat breath. -
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How many vampires showed up to the garlic-eating competition?
Can’t say, it was countless. -
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Why can you never win in a boxing match with Dracula?
Nobody can ever beat the Count. -
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What is Dracula's favorite fruit?
Neck-tarines
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