How To Make Sleep Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

How do you put a baby astronaut to sleep?
You rocket.

I went to bed with my music playing last night.
I had a sound sleep.

Is your iPad making you fall asleep?
There’s a nap for that.

The male pig puts everyone to sleep.
You could say he’s quite the boar.

My girlfriend asked why I put a watch on the bed before going to sleep.
I told her I wanted to wake up on time

What do you call a sleepwalking nun?
A roamin’ catholic.

I got paid for being part of a study at the sleep clinic.
It was my dream job.

Sleeping comes so naturally to me, I could do it with my eyes closed.

There was a kidnapping at school yesterday.
It’s okay though, he woke up.

My cat sleeps on a down pillow.
I’ve always had a soft spot for her.

Have you heard about those new corduroy pillowcases?
They’re really making headlines.

What does James Bond do before he goes to sleep?
He goes under cover.

I finally got eight hours of sleep.
It took me three days, but whatever.

Where do fish sleep?
On the sea bed!

What did the mommy broom say to the baby broom?
It’s time to go to sweep.

Do you think Jeff Bezos sleeps naked?
Or with pajamazon?

Why do keyboards never sleep?
Because they have two shifts.

Scientists have finally discovered exactly how much sleep a human needs.
“Just five minutes more.”

I couldn’t figure out why I haven’t been sleeping all night.
And then it dawned on me.

What do you call making up for lost sleep?
Melatonement.

What does the gingerbread man sleep on?
Cookie sheets.

Knock, knock!
Who is it?
Lee.
Lee who?
Lee me alone I’m tired!

Knock! Knock!
Who is there?
Pasta.
Pasta who?
Pasta bedtime.

Knock! Knock!
Who knocks?
Hugo.
Hugo who?
Hugo to bed right now!

Knock! Knock!
Who is it?
Alison.
Alison who?
Alison to you snore every night.

Knock, knock!
Who is there?
Justin.
Justin who?
Justin time for bed.

Knock, knock!
Who is it?
Godfrey.
Godfrey who?
Godfrey mattress with the bed I bought.

Knock! Knock!
Who is there?
Armageddon.
Armageddon who?
Armageddon a little tired. Let’s get some sleep.

Knock, knock!
Who is it?
Earl.
Earl who?
Earl be glad to go to bed.

I dreamt I wrote The Hobbit the other night. I think I was Tolkein in my sleep.

Why do dragons often sleep during the day? So they can fight knights.

I sleep in a tower once every two weeks. It’s my fort night.

Don’t think I could cope with a job as a coffee taster. How do they sleep at night?

Fell asleep on my smartphone the other day. I had downloaded a nap.

Taller people sleep longer in bed.