If you’re looking for a good laugh, this selection of our favourite animal jokes will have you roaring with laughter! Why do giraffes have long necks? What do you call a camel with three humps?
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Why couldn't the two elephants go swimming?
Because they only had one pair of trunks between them. -
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What is a marsupial's favourite drink?
Coca-Koala -
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Why do squid swim in salt water?
Because pepper makes them sneeze. -
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Why can;t you hear a Pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because the "P" is silent. -
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What are goose bumps for?
To slow the geese down.
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Why do ants never get sick?
Because they all have anty bodies.
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Why can’t you get pain killers in the jungle?
Because the parrots eat ‘em all. -
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Why do wolves never play in goal?
Because they're always making howlers. -
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How fast can a duck go?
At a quacking pace. -
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What did the goose say when he purchased a new lipstick?
"Put it on my bill please."
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What do you call a hurt lemur?
An indri. -
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Is a kangaroo able to jump higher than the Eiffel tower?
Of course. The Empire State Building can't jump.
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What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college?
Bison!
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Why did the kangaroo stop drinking coffee?
She got too jumpy!
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What sound do porcupines make when they kiss?
"Ouch!"
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Why do wolves never play in goal?
Because they're always making howlers. -
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How fast can a duck go?
At a quacking pace. -
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What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
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How much money does a skunk have?
One scent!
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How do you raise a baby elephant?
With a crane. -
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How do you stop a skunk from smelling?
Put a peg on its nose. -
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Where do polar bears vote?
The North Poll.
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Why did the team of witches always lose their cricket matches?
Their bats kept flying away.
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What happened when the lion ate the clown?
He felt funny. -
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Why didn't the leopard enjoy playing hide and seek?
Because he was spotted all the time.
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What do you call a camel with three humps?
Lumpy -
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What steps do you take if a tiger is running toward you?
Big ones!
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How do you count cows?
With a cowculator.
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What runs around the forest making other animals yawn?
A wild boar. -
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Why did the whale cross the street?
To get to the other tide.
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Why are fish so good at watching their weight?
Because they have lots of scales!
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How do people cook in the jungle?
With a grilla -
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What happens when a frog's car brakes down ?
It gets toad away -
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Why did the whale cross the street?
To get to the other tide.
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Where are fish in orbit?
In trout-er space.
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What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk!
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How long do chickens work?
Around the cluck!
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?
The Baaaahamas
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