Today, Google has become an essential part of most people’s lives, and we often find ourselves asking it absurd questions. We do this assuming that no one is observing our searches, but the truth is that someone is not only observing but also keeping a record. The Google suggestions we encounter are actually queries that people have previously asked the search engine. I have compiled a collection of these amusing Google suggestions which illustrate how people worldwide search for the most comical and bizarre things.
Go Fish!
Discovering Nemo provided us with valuable insights into the world of goldfish, particularly by showcasing the existence of a hidden realm beneath the sea where emotions and upheaval can unfold.
However, it did not provide explanations for why a goldfish could appear black, white, brown, or even red. We are hoping that this variation in coloring is simply an optical illusion and that the fish is actually still the same golden color it was when it was born.
Oh, Men
We are not certain who initiated this Google search, but traditionally, men have often been linked with enjoying various things such as sports, fitness, sneakers, Las Vegas, and even comic books.
I hope that Google managed to provide a logical explanation for why men are attracted to feet. While it’s possible that this issue can be resolved, we cannot guarantee that the person’s relationship with their foot fetish was able to withstand their infatuation with this specific body part.
Canadians, Eh?
Individuals often have a strong desire to possess unusual and diverse items. For example, this person appears to be pondering the possibility of owning a Canadian and why it is not feasible.
Canada is renowned for its courteous nature, its popular maple syrup, and its deep passion for hockey. While many aspire to adopt Canadian traits, harboring a desire to possess a Canadian person may sound unsettling. This individual’s online query seems to suggest questionable intentions lying ahead.
Jump, Jump!
Jumping brings immense delight to numerous children. Remarkably, it is not solely confined to children; even adults take great pleasure in jumping. Whether it be trampolines or skipping ropes, jumping holds a significant role in our lives.
However, this guy didn’t have much luck with jumping around. It appears that whenever he leapt even slightly, he ended up having an accident. We can only hope that the person writing this is still a young boy, as otherwise, participating in gymnastics would not be enjoyable for him.
What’s a Boyfriend?
The internet allows you to access a wide range of downloads. Whether you need a recipe or want to embark on a DIY project, the internet has the solution for you.
Regrettably, we have yet to discover a way to digitally download a complete human being. While the internet can offer guidance on becoming a good partner or attracting someone, it cannot provide a pre-made downloadable companion.
What Even Is Google?
The Google search engine doesn’t have a specific gender, however, there are individuals who are so fascinated by the concept of genders that they are curious about Google’s gender as well.
Additional recommendations, such as if Google were personified in subsequent installments, indicate a collective curiosity on the matter. To such individuals, we affirm that society is progressing and one’s gender no longer restricts their identity.
How Does Google Use Google?
The search that hit Google’s search engine seems incredibly repetitive and ironic. It is intriguing to imagine what the user was doing when they posed this question to Google.
Having knowledge of a trustworthy search engine likely gave the user access to a detailed tutorial on utilizing it for querying. The expression on the user’s face upon realizing that they had already completed the necessary steps would have been invaluable.
Were Dinosaurs Made Up?
The suggestion of attributing the invention of something and its purpose to deter time travel can likely be credited to the conspiracy theorists, who played a part in including it on Google’s list of absurd suggestions.
We can anticipate how Ross Geller would respond to this disrespect towards his cherished dinosaurs. He would kindly request that you shift your thoughts and redirect your line of questioning promptly.
Frosted Minerals
Indeed, while cupcakes may not hold any monetary value as minerals, they undeniably have the power to bring joy to anyone who indulges in them. It seems the user had a valid point in questioning why a food that brings us such happiness is not given the recognition it deserves.
Regrettably, it is crucial to moderate everything, particularly sugar. Nonetheless, the search that resonates the most is the one about wanting to sleep all day. In response, we sympathetically say, “We understand completely!”
Help! It’s a Human Potato!
This suggestion is relatively mild amidst the various options that appear when searching for “Help, I’m a P.” Some of the explanations may cause you to question whether the user believes they resemble a potato due to their prolonged sofa-bound state or because they feel as though they are being broken into small pieces, like fries.
For those seeking assistance as new parents, stay strong for about 16 to 18 years until your child reaches adulthood, and then you can finally have some well-deserved peace. Well, almost!
Proposing to Google
Following the broadcast of an advertisement promoting the LGBTQ+ community through the fictional marriage of Siri and Alexa, it appears that new possibilities have opened up. Now, even individuals who feel lonely are requesting to marry Google, a popular search engine.
The concept of developing romantic feelings for artificial intelligence has become increasingly prevalent in contemporary times. This theme has been explored in various forms of media, such as the film Her and the TV show The Big Bang Theory. It is possible that the person who posed this question was seeking solace during a lonely Valentine’s Day and has hopefully found improvement since then.
Google Will Enslave the World
If you’re someone who loves technology and is fascinated by its progress, you may have pondered the possibility of a future where computers become dominant and govern our world. This user had similar thoughts.
While Google may not have completely taken control of the world, we rely heavily on it for every aspect of our lives, including academics and medical assistance. According to conspiracy theorists, it won’t be long before the scenario portrayed in “The Mitchells vs. the Machines” actually comes true.
Makes Perfect Sense
Understanding the reasons why certain individuals search for specific topics on Google is quite challenging. The outcome of these searches could have taken various different paths.
The user might have wondered why they dislike a sentence that ultimately has a positive ending, or something along those lines. However, the true question is: how does a sentence end with the word “octopus”? Is it comprised of eight words in total?
When a Chinchilla Eats the Universe
Chinchillas are incredibly cute creatures, small in size and easy to take care of. They make for the perfect pet for any household. However, this search query suggests that someone may have had a negative encounter with these animals.
The individual’s pet chinchilla may have devoured a whole globe or perhaps a cherished possession of the person who entered these search terms, resulting in such an inquiry. However, we reassure the person on the receiving end that we indeed dislike it when any animal consumes the entire universe.
Is it Possible to Live Forever?
The response to that inquiry is simply “no.” Improvements in science and technology have indeed raised life expectancy, however, the concept of “forever” is still far from the typical lifespan of an individual, which is about 72.6 years.
Luckily, there is a deeper and more philosophical response to this individual’s question – it is indeed feasible to achieve immortality by means of one’s artistic expression, ideas, writings, and groundbreaking inventions. For instance, despite Alexander Graham Bell’s demise a century ago, his memory remains alive and influential across the globe.
Girlfriend Is a Gumiho
The likely reason for conducting this Google search is most likely the popular South Korean series called My Roommate is a Gumiho. Within Korean folklore, Gumiho refers to mythical creatures.
These beings frequently morph into attractive females who purposefully allure young boys with the intention of consuming their hearts. The individual who inquired about this may have indulged in excessive viewing of the show or perhaps has a remarkably captivating and beautiful girlfriend who has enchanted him. Of course, I’m just joking – it’s most likely the former scenario.
Toasty
Google always manages to provide amusing suggestions while you’re typing in the search box. For example, it advises against ever inserting a sock in a toaster. Additionally, another suggestion warns against placing a genie on a limited budget.
From where did the genie originate? Did Aladdin or Abu consult Google for answers to their questions regarding cleaning a magical carpet? If we ever encounter a magic lamp, we will certainly remember this.
Pretending to Be a Carrot
Acting as someone else can be freeing temporarily. Even mental health professionals often suggest joining theatrical groups to enhance self-expression skills. Yet, there are individuals who find pretending to be a butcher or a gardener insufficient.
They only find nonsensical activities, such as pretending to be a carrot or a meatball, acceptable. It’s interesting to think about what someone pretending to be a carrot would do, like going out in the sun and attempting to peel themselves.
A Brain Tumor for Breakfast
Many of us are familiar with the idea of people consuming unusual foods in various parts of the world, such as crickets or pig intestines. Even the first meal of the day varies from one country to another, with the English favoring eggs and the Japanese choosing the traditional option of miso soup.
Nevertheless, this particular individual appears to have drawn inspiration from Hannibal Lecter. Consuming a brain tumor is not, and will never be, a sanctioned behavior in human society.
Licking Elbows
Regrettably, the response to this question is affirmative. Unless one possesses an extraordinary level of flexibility and the ability to manipulate their body at will, it is physically impossible to lick one’s own elbow. However, it is understandable why this inquiry is posed.
In the end, we have all experienced the desire to attempt something we have been warned against. For instance, everyone has attempted to lick their elbow at some point, but unfortunately, we have all met with great failure in this endeavor.
How to Double in Size
The suggestions from Google have an inherent element of both inquiry and potential. One user wonders about the outcome of consuming oneself, whereas another user subtly inquires whether doing so would result in doubling in size.
To clarify, if you were to vanish from existence, that would be the outcome. Additionally, if your desire is to increase your size twofold, simply consume a significant amount of carbohydrates while minimizing physical activity.
I Quit
This is an age-old question that everyone who works at an office asks themselves at least once — how do I quit my job? The answer to this is very straightforward, by putting down your papers.
Sadly, just knowing the answer doesn’t work. You also need a lot of courage and a backup plan before taking this step. We’re pretty sure Google also suggested similar steps to the person asking the question.
Life With No Google
If there was no Google, the world as we know it today would cease to exist. Without even realizing it, we ask the search engine questions about everything, from the color of our bowel movements to the requirements to apply to a university.
It’s safe to assume that if it weren’t for Google, the world would indeed be a very dark place, and all the DIY hacks would remain unknown to people.
Who Would Win the Fight?
Amidst all the same and acceptable suggestions of Batman versus Superman or Hulk versus Wolverine, is a suggestion of a fight between tacos and grilled cheese.
The taco has more filling, with its sauces and veggies, while the grilled cheese has the power of cheese backing it up. Taking into account the popularity and comfort, it’s safe to say that grilled cheese would kick a taco’s butt. Even though we’re drooling just a little right now.
So Gassy
It’s a question that your husband could probably answer better than Google itself. Maybe the issue is a chronic one or a gastric one, but a doctor would be a better option to turn to than the internet.
Regardless, we feel for the poor wife who has to sleep through her husband’s incessant flatulence. Hopefully, a visit to the doctor will cure him of the problem and give him, and his wife, some relief.
She Is a Maniac
We can just assume that a frustrated boyfriend has input this suggestion into Google’s search history, probably looking for ways to break up with a difficult girlfriend.
Or maybe a pet owner realized that their dog was out of control, and was trying to figure out all the reasons why she was acting that way. As Conan Gray’s song, which is making rounds on social media, famously says: “you maniac!”
Green Poop
Google is the answer to everything, including why our bowel movements are the color that they are. This particular user is obviously very worried about the color of his bowels and has decided to resort to everybody’s go-to guide.
He probably had some rotten veggies for dinner, or something has gone wrong in his stomach. Either way, this is another person who should probably visit a clinic and get himself checked out.
Being a Werewolf
Either somebody watched a little too much Teen Wolf, or had a really severe bodily reaction around the full moon, leading to this conclusion.
Werewolves are a popular part of literature, from fantasy to young adult. Even movies and TV shows love the trope of a boy gone furry. Hopefully, this person didn’t turn into a canine come full moon, and is happily living in a wolf-free land somewhere.
Life’s Deepest Questions
This sounds like a question better suited to Lorraine and Ed Warren, as it sounds like a scene straight out of a horror movie.
Probably, a person skilled with a pencil might be able to sketch something that would show what this action would look like. But our eyes are better off without having the pictures of this horror show dancing in our minds.
Why Are the Kardashians Famous?
All these questions are very valid but probably nothing hits home as hard as the question — why are the Kardashians famous? The super famous, reality star family shot to fame thanks to their lawyer patriarch, and cemented their status in the American pop world with Kim’s tapes.
However, from there, the family has only gotten stronger and has now turned themselves into one we all aspire to be in. After all, who doesn’t want to be managed by momager, Kris Jenner?
Googling Oneself
This suggestion borders the line between hilarious and sad, with a hint of narcissism thrown in for fun’s sake. We’ve all Googled ourselves at one time or the other, sometimes out of curiosity, sometimes out of sheer boredom.
But do it often enough, and it’s no longer just a leisurely activity. Most of the time, old, ugly Facebook pictures and a link to your Instagram account pop up.
Getting Called a Dork
Young love might be rosy and heart-warming at times — but mostly, it’s a cesspool of confusion, nerves, and self-doubt. We question everything from actions to words, and we decode those later, sometimes with friends and sometimes by ourselves.
This person seems to have been called a name by their crush and is unable to figure out what it means. Being called a dork probably means she finds you cute, and it’s the time for you two to split an ice cream shake.
Eating a Cat
The answer is no, not just to this one suggestion but to every one of these in the suggestion box. The cat probably committed a heinous crime or the owner is not the best.
The other two suggestions of eating a Himalayan rock salt lamp, or a SCOBY, are equally ridiculous. Somebody needs to call animal services on this one.
Could God Be an Alien?
This sounds like an attempt by conspiracy theorists to kill two birds with one stone, religion and extraterrestrial activities. Nobody else would ever wonder if God was an alien.
Unless you’re watching a Marvel movie, and your god resembles one of the many aliens that seem to zip through their universe, we can safely assume that the debate for both of these questions is still ongoing — and nobody has seen neither god nor alien, to date.
Why Don’t Spells Work?
Probably the biggest shock to every Potterhead is coming back to the real world after a Harry Potter marathon and realizing that magic doesn’t actually exist. Alohomora won’t open the doors, while Nox won’t switch off the lights when you’re already in bed.
However, now both Apple and Google phones offer some inbuilt voice commands that will make you believe you’re a true wizard. Like saying, ‘Hey Siri, Lumos’ will instantly turn on your phone flashlight. Magic!
Why Aren’t There Dinosaur Ghosts?
Well, unless you’re a part of the world of Casper, ghosts are very much debatable. Even after many people claim to have seen one, there’s no definite proof that they exist.
But, it’s worth pondering that if ghosts exist, why are there only ever human ghosts and not dinosaur ones? Just imagine hanging out in your room and then having a Tyrannosaurus rex ghost poking you for not doing your homework.
Unicorns Are Jerks
Unicorns are mythical creatures whose entire personality is based on being sweet, beautiful, and glittery. So, it’s worth questioning what happened with this particular user who decided that unicorns have a side of jerkiness in them.
Maybe a white horse kicked a little girl down, and since little kids and their imaginations have no bounds, this is what she came up with as a question. The other possibility is that unicorns are real, it certainly seems like a question that’s regularly asked.
Why Is There School?
This question is asked by every single child while growing up, so it’s no wonder it’s a part of Google suggestions. Why are there schools, after all?
It’s very possible that this search was done in the middle of the night by a student who still hadn’t finished their homework. Well, if you have a sleepless night ahead of you anyway, let’s start by questioning the entire reason for the homework.
How to Cut Anything
These searches are a part of the madness that was 2020 when the world was floundering and Google was the only solution that anyone had.
But, asking questions like how to cut a mango or pomegranate seems like somebody missed out on learning basic skills while they were young. At least 2020 taught people how to cut fruits, veggies, and sometimes, even their own hair.
Why Don’t Girls Answer Back?
Probably because your technique is not a good one, or your opening lines are just too creepy. Either way, the reason for this user’s dilemma lies within himself rather than the person in front of him.
We just hope that he picked up some good ways to start a conversation from Google when he asked this question. Or even better, met somebody in the real world and didn’t have to charm them with his non-existent charisma.
What Would Happen?
Well, what you’d get is the plot of a brilliant movie that we’d all love to watch. For an even more interesting story, you can pit the two Sherlocks — Benedict Cumberbatch and Robert Downey Jr. — against each other.
The ultimate American and British showdown! Both parties would follow each other by using their deadliest snooping techniques. We’re already too excited to watch this film!
How to Make the Boss Fall in Love
Unless you’re in a Mills & Boons romance novel, this type of thing doesn’t happen easily. But, a bored secretary or an infatuated employee probably looked it up in an effort to further their flirting game.
Probably, the best way to get your boss to fall in love with you is to do what Ryan Reynolds did in the movie The Proposal. Become indispensable to their life and look cute while doing it!
Why Isn’t 11 Pronounced Onety-One?
It was probably a child who decided if 71 was seventy-one, then 11 should definitely be called onety-one. Though we can’t fight the logic, it’s definitely a hilarious Google search.
Another thought is — why isn’t 11 pronounced oneteen, which is a nod to 17 being pronounced seventeen. Let’s just say whoever thought about these questions was definitely thinking out of the box that day.
The Meaning of Life
There are two kinds of people in the world — the ones who are looking for answers and the ones who are self-proclaimed nihilists. However, this person’s query states that he belongs to the former category.
And Google doesn’t have a definite answer either. So, the one produced by this search engine is a shout-out to the book The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. Well, in this case, a fictional answer is better than no answer.
Strawberry Fields
Well, that’s an answer only Google can give as to what the strawberries are doing there. Maybe it’s a new name for an Android update — from Android marshmallow to android strawberry.
Regardless, this isn’t the only question users have. There’s also a popular question about what the strawberries are doing on different body parts. We think that strawberries probably belong strictly in a fruit bowl.
