"Vampires are spooky creatures who come out at night. People have been interested in them for a very long time. Sometimes, they're shown as romantic, sometimes scary, and sometimes in between. They've become a big part of our stories and movies. If you like spooky stuff or just want a good laugh, we've got some funny vampire jokes for you!"
-
0
How does Dracula get his torch to turn on?
With bat-teries. -
0
What should you never yell at a vampire while arguing?
"Bite me!" -
0
Why don’t vampires like mosquitos?
Too much competition. -
0
Why don’t mosquitoes bite vampires?
As a professional courtesy. -
0
What would you get when you cross a vampire with sheep?Â
Drac-Ewe-La.
-
0
What did the vampire say after drinking blood from a bodybuilder?
"Whew, that’s strong!" -
0
Why did Dracula divorce his wife after she took a blood test?Â
She wasn't his type.
-
0
What do you call a gullible vampire?
A sucker. -
0
What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A nectarine. -
0
What do you call a cross dressing vampire?
Dragula. -
0
Did you know people still think there are vampires in Romania?
Haven’t seen one since 1645. -
0
Where do college-age vampires shop?
Forever 21. -
0
Why can you never win in a boxing match with Dracula?Â
Nobody can ever beat the Count.
-
0
Why are vampires so obsessed with necks?
Because they were raised by a neck romancer. -
0
Why should you never tell a vampire to get a life?
Because it might decide to take yours. -
0
How can you tell if a vampire is sick?
If he’s coffin. -
0
Why are vampires bad artists?
Because they always want to draw blood. -
0
Heard about the vampire who was locked up in an asylum?
He went batty. -
0
Why are vampires very bad Product Managers?
Because they refuse to meet with stake holders. -
0
Why do vampires like to scare people?
Because they are bored to death! -
0
What is a vampire’s favorite fast food?
A person with very high blood pressure. -
0
How do you kill a French vampire?
You have to stab him/her with a baguette. It sounds easy, but the process is painstaking. -
0
Where does Dracula buy writing utensils from?
Pencil-veinia. -
0
Why don’t vampires like gambling?
They get nervous when the stakes are raised. -
0
Why does Dracula not have friends?Â
He's such a pain in the neck.
-
0
What do vampires drink at happy hour?
B-Positive. -
0
 Why did Dracula fail at Art?Â
He was only able to draw blood.
-
0
Why are vampires so naive?
Because they are born suckers. -
0
What's the differnce between Jesus and a vampire?
Where you stick the wooden stake. -
0
What would you get when you cross a vampire with sheep?
Drac-Ewe-La. -
0
Why do vampires brush three times a day?
To prevent bat breath. -
0
How many vampires showed up to the garlic-eating competition?
Can’t say, it was countless. -
0
Why can you never win in a boxing match with Dracula?
Nobody can ever beat the Count. -
0
What is Dracula's favorite fruit?Â
Neck-tarines
