Donny wasn’t just a dog; she was my closest companion, my source of comfort during the darkest times, and the one who loved me unconditionally. From the moment I met her, I knew our bond was special. But with that bond came a fear that haunted me every day—the fear that she might suffer the same fate as Dolly, my previous dog.

Donny And My Unbreakable Bond

Donny journey was one of strength, love, and ultimately, heartbreak. She fought a battle against Distemper, defying the odds for six long months. But as much as she fought, I couldn’t escape the overwhelming guilt of not being there in her final moments. This is the story of Donny, the dog who meant everything to me, and the journey we took together, marked by love, fear, and an unspoken farewell.

Donny was the name of one of the puppies. The person I loved the most was him, and he loved me the most. I was the one he loved the most.

Fears of the Past

If you were to ask me what my greatest concern was, it would be that Donny adopts the same personality as Dolly. In the event that I left, I was terrified that he might actually take his own life. When I opened the door, I was terrified that he would be waiting for me by myself. In the event that he turned out to be like Sophie, I was terrified that I would experience the same kind of remorse that my father did. On the other hand, I can’t just quit him alone.

In addition, he gradually became more and more like Dolly, without ever being aware of it. In addition, there is always a tragic ending to every story.

Fighting Distemper

A unexpected case of distemper struck Donny. Despite the fact that our chances of surviving it were so slim, we continued to hold out hope for a miracle. Firsthand, I witnessed Donny’s aspirations for his life. Fights were his only activity for a period of six months.

Are you able to fathom how terrifying, depressing, and upsetting it would be to witness a member of your family experiencing seizures that they were unable to control? Imagine witnessing them wheeze so hard that their nose begins to bleed. What would you think? This was how I felt each and every day. It was a mystery to me what to do… However, I am thankful that my father was always there for both Donny and me.

We were both sleeping on the floor, Donny and I. I spent the most of my time sleeping with him, and the remaining nights spent sleeping on my desk as I studied.

False Hope Of Donny

There was no veterinarian who could provide care for Donny because no one ever provided us any promise that he would be fine. Consequently, my father began to take care of him. In addition, we were unable to abandon him in the steel cages at the veterinarian’s office, exactly as we had done with Sophie back then. We made a solemn oath that none of our canine companions would ever be subjected to the same suffering that Sophie went through.

We were provided with a list of the medications that Donny would be taking and the instructions that we should follow, all thanks to the assistance of a compassionate veterinarian who understood our situation.

After a period of six months, Donny was showing signs of improvement. This must be fantastic, according to the majority of people! Regarding us, the part that we dreaded the most was getting closer. The veterinarian had shared with us that, in her experience, animals who have distemper go through a brief honeymoon phase in which they appear to be getting better, but they end up passing away a week or two later. In her experience, 19 out of 20 of the pets passed away.

The Final Goodbye

This was the end. “Will God perform any miracles this time?” was a question that I pondered at that moment.

I did not practice any form of religion, but I did pray.

His honeymoon phase came to an end on that particular night, which was perfect in every way. Not only was he trembling, but he was literally convulsing. Panic broke out among everyone, and this was the final straw. I was aware of… That’s all I knew. All of Donny’s belongings were hastily packed by my father. He intended to visit a veterinary hospital that was located one hour away from where we were. Given that he would be driving, he required the presence of another individual. Naturally, I was aware that he would choose me. However, he chose to bring my brother instead of anyone else.

I wasn’t angry, but it was strange. He knew that I was aware of it.

It was during the time that they were getting everything ready that I sat outside our door and hugged Donny. During the time when he was struggling for his life, I was giving him a bear embrace. However, he fled for an unknown reason.

He fled from me in retreat. It was the flowers that he went to see above Sophie’s grave.

I made my way over there and picked him up. Given that it was chilly, it was not good for him. I wanted to bring him back to our porch, but as I’ve already mentioned, I was aware of the situation. At that same moment, I made the decision that I would be holding Donny in my arms close to the grave of Sophie. A little later, he ceased his shaking and placed his head on my arms.

Again, I’m not interested in superstitious beliefs or religious practices… On the other hand, it seemed as though Dolly was calling out to him.

I was aware of it. It seemed obvious to me. And my father did, and he was aware that I was aware of it as well. The news that Sophie was calling Donny relayed to my father. He was… taken aback. He was aware that I had never believed in anything of this nature.

It was my brother and Donny that he took along in the automobile. He stopped breathing midway through the journey to the hospital.

The return of Donny done by my father. I was aware of it. It seemed obvious to me. It was then that I found myself confronted with the most terrifying experience of my whole life. Without taking me with him, Donny departed from this life.

Living with Guilt

I knew that my father was aware that I was anticipating that this occur. The fact was known to me that he did not want me to see Donny’s gradual passing away. I was aware that he did not want me to be the one to bear Donny’s death.

So there I was… as my father used to feel when he was alone himself.

Since that day, which was four years ago, I continue to feel bad. At the moment, I am crying as I write this.

Dolly, I am truly sorry. Donny, I am very sorry.

This drawing of him was the only thing I could do at the time.

Additionally, I made the decision that I would use the name Donny for whatever game that I play or any account that I may create.

The immense guilt that I continue to feel for not spending enough time with him and for not making an effort to accompany him to the hospital is something that will never go away. No matter how many drawings I make of him or how many accounts I create in his honor, he will always be remembered. I would never be able to hide how I am feeling.

When I thought of the moments when he was with me during the breakup of our family, and how he was there for me during my terrible sadness, I realized that the only thing I could give him was a death in which I was not next to him.